Our First Hospice Moment ~ Light Up A Life

Our First Hospice Moment. Light Up A Life.

The Christmas season can be especially hard for those who have lost a loved one.

Each year Hospice of SLO offers a beautiful event, giving people opportunity to remember their loved one in a   ceremony of remembrance called "Light up a Life."  And the year Chester and I came on board, they added an additional night of remembrance for those who were grieving the loss of a pet.  Hospice understood the need to  make an evening separate for pet owners,  as it is not appropriate for Rover's name to follow grandpa's in an event as tender as this.

So to honor all those dealing with a loss...the pet night was added. And Chester and I were invited.

There were not many people in attendance that evening. Just a handful. And, since we were new to Hospice, except for 2 familiar faces, everyone was new to us. Chester was drawn to one man in particular. While people mingled before the ceremony began, Chester wanted to be with Mr.D.

And so, when it was time to sit, we asked Mr. D if we could sit by him.

He welcomed us.

Chester sat between us.  Actually he lay across Mr. D's feet.

At one point big  tears leaked out of Mr. D's eyes, he began to share publicly about his dog,  ...He was my best friend. I don't know if I would be here today if it hadn't been for him...He was by my side throughout my chemo treatments, always there for me....  The tears flowed.  

As he talked, Chester sat up and nestled his head onto the man's lap. Mr. D. hugged him and cried healing tears.

Not a dry eye in the room, as we watched this miraculous moment unfold.


P.S.
As it turns out, I later learned that  Mr. D was the only non-staff  person at  Light Up A Life.  He was the reason we were there.  And Chester knew.

Hospice of San Luis Obispo...An unexpected journey

While settling into this new land on California's central coast...  it proved challenging to connect with a pet therapy group.  Which was a surprise to me. After all, this IS California, land of dog friendly everything.  AND, as it turned out, my beginning here with pet therapy was not at all what I expected. shocker :-) 

While searching for a Pet Therapy group similar to KPETS in PA, (which does not exist here!), I discovered Hospice of San Luis Obispo on  my web search.  They had a pet therapy program. I called and emailed the pet therapy person.  . As it turns out "Mrs. Pet Therapy Program" moved to Sacramento about the time I moved to the central coast of California.  But at the time I did not know this... of course.

Actually, hmm, as I remember back ---see THIS is why I NEED to write things down WHEN they happen, or I forget the details.  Like...here I am typing away and there is this little knock on my brain door...."remember that chain of events???"  And I paws...and I'm like, oh wow....   

So here is the oh wow, I wasn't going to even write about today, until Someone knocked on my brain door.

As I said, Hospice of SLO and I were having a hard time connecting, and as days/weeks passed I sort of  convinced myself that Hospice was not really my calling.  Or Chester's. So I didn't pursue it any further.

But then, there was this one day~
Chester and I did a spontaneous visit to Garden House, (a lovely home in Morro Bay where they tenderly care for men and women with memory loss).  A woman in the waiting room approached me. She gave me her card. She worked with a Hospice organization. She would love for us to volunteer with them.

Same day.  I am in Costco w.a.i.t.i.n.g. to get my new cool glasses :-).   Sitting and waiting with me is my buddy Chester in his therapy dog vest. A woman sits down next to me. She is a nurse with yet another Hospice group. She gives me her card. She would like Chester and I to come volunteer with her group.

Same day, I get a phone call from Hospice of SLO from the director Kris, apologizing for the delay in responding, but somehow my email got lost in the email pile....because their pet therapy person moved to Sacramento...   She was so kind and genuine; I almost jumped through the phone and asked "Would you be my friend? I 'm new here and friendless."  

So, after 3 unexpected Hospice moments in one day,  I thought perhaps I should rethink my position on "hospice not being my thing" and take a peek at this possibility for Chester and me.

Good decision.

There is a quote on a greeting card I picked up in Estes Park, Colorado. I have it hanging on my office wall ~ attached to the Rand McNally USA map, charting our journey from sea to shining sea....

"Sometimes your journey will take you off of YOUR path,... 

 Life is full of exquisite diversions."

Volunteering with Hospice of San Luis Obispo has turned out to be an unexpected & exquisite journey for Chester and me. Such a wonderful group of caring men and women who continue to teach me so very much. We are blessed to be a part. Thank you, Kris, for calling me back that day, your timing was perfect.  

Warmly signed,

  Mrs. Pet Therapy, Hospice of SLO

When The Therapy Dog Needs Therapy

4th of July

and noises that go 

BOOM IN THE NIGHT

 Me--- I love love love -- the 4th of July, celebrations, fireworks, the booms, the colors, the patriotic songs, the God Bless America  & the good ole U.S.A. , the night sky lit with sparkles and colors and celebration.  Even cannon booms! The louder and brighter the better. 

Not Chester. Not my tenderhearted golden buddy.  The 4th of July is at the tippy top of the SCARE-ME list. The loud booms and crackles scare the pee-woddin out of him.

This year, visiting family --- in an unfamiliar home to him --- the BooMs and cRaCkLe PoPs were especially overthetop s.c.a.r.e.y.  Chester heard the noises long before I did and disappeared at dusk from the poolside party (where he had been romping IN THE POOL, smiling and playing all day long).

When I heard the first BOOM and crackle, that's when I noticed my buddy was gone from poolside. Looking for him high and low--- I discovered him inside the house, huddled on the cool tile floor in a darkened bathroom, wide-eyed, shivering, and shaking. 

Ahh Buddy.

I sat down with him. Rubbed his soft ears, and lay across his furry, still-wet-with-pool back and tummy, hugging him as best I could to sooth away the fear. 

It was hardly dark yet. And I knew the BOOMS had only begun.   

And so....this year, 

This 4th of July...

While the boom bands were playing... and the fireworks were crackling across the night sky...

We huddled together on the blue tiled bathroom floor.

In the dark.

Listening to soothing music from the glow of the iphone.

While over and over I stroked his fur and whispered into his soft ears...

It will be ok. We will ride this booming storm out together, and make it through the night. I 'm here.

PS

Next year...it's doggie drugs ;-).

Grief Therapy

Spending time at Almond Acres Charter Academy is a favorite spot for us.  No doubt about it.  We love our kids.


And stories happen.

A little friend of ours had a very rough year. A tragedy in his family.  One of his younger siblings died in an accident.  sigh   When our little friend returned back to school,  whenever Chester and I were on campus, we would make a point to give extra hugs and wags and time.

The principal at Almond Acres is such a dear man. Full of love and  kindness and strength and wisdom, and believing the best in his students and inspiring them towards greatness. Mr. B, as he is known to all, had an open door policy with our little friend.  Whenever the days got too long or too hard or too anything, this little boy could have time with Mr. B for whatever was needed.

I was on my way home. Signing-out in the office,  I noticed our friend sitting and waiting to see Mr. B. His eyes stared at the floor, shoulders slumped, and well, I just could not imagine the pain in his little heart.

I knelt down, and Chester snuggled in. And the boy snuggled back.

"Would you like to help me with something?" I asked.

Silence. A shrug.

"You know, being at school can be hard work for Chester...and sometimes, before we head home, Chester really likes to take a short walk with a good friend in a quiet place. I think he'd really like you to take him. What do you think?"  I asked.

He looked up and nodded yes.

Mr. B's assistant smiled.  I handed one leash to our friend, and held the other in my hand. And out the door we went. We strolled on the grass under the shade of the trees for about 10 minutes or so. At first we were quiet, and then he began to tell me about his dog at home. How he thought Chester and his dog would be good friends. And we talked back and forth about other things that I really can't remember.

What I do remember is how his eyes began to brighten, how his steps became perkier, how his shoulders unslumped,  how a smile even came to his face, and how his heavy load seemed a little lighter.

"Well it's time for me to take Chester home. Shall we walk back to Mr's B's?" I asked.

"Can I just walk Chester back to my class?" he asked.

Giving him a hug, I said, " I think Chester would like that a lot."

Taaa-Daaa

One of Chester's silly tricks is "ta-daaa".  This is his command for take-a-bow. His hiney goes straight  in the air, and  his nose reaches down to touch his furry toes.   It is always a crowd pleaser, and usually means we are wrapping up whatever we are doing.  Most often, at the end of a public speaking event, we finish with "ta-daaa" and off we go. Home.

It's important while doing pet therapy to watch your dog for signs of stress/boredom/not having fun/time to go/etc.  If you watch closely, they give lots of clues. They really do.  And when they give you clues, it's important to pay attention,  wrap things up, take a break, and head for home.

On this particular evening, I was giving a pet therapy talk to a group of Hospice Volunteers. The speaking event came at the end of a long day, and a long week.  During my presentation, I was NOT doing a good job of paying attention to my buddy.   I did not notice the clues.....

And so in the middle of my little talk, that apparently Chester thought was far too long,  Mr. Fancy Pants gets up from his laying down position at my side... looks at me, then does one absolutely long and drawn out humongous,   "taaaaaa- daaaaaaaa" .

The crowd roared with laughter, I turned it into a teachable moment --- wrapped it up --- and we were out the door. Headed home.

He slept the whole way.

Chester and Dr. Seuss ~ Thank you

A few posts ago...I mentioned unslumping....speaking of unslumping...

Before embarking on our journey west from PA to CA,  a dear family member gave us a favorite Dr. Seuss treasure Oh The Places You'll Go!  The Dr. has some very wise words about slumping~

I'm sorry to say so

but, sadly, it's true

than Bang-ups

and Hang-ups

can happen to you. .....

And when you're in a Slump,

you're not in for much fun.

Un-slumping yourself

is not easily done.  ....

In this season of a writing slump, and let's just be honest.... a life-slump....I've felt slumpy.   And may I just give a shout out and 'thank You God', for MY pet therapy buddy, Chester.  In this season of slumpness, he is faithfully at my side.   First and foremost, he takes care of me.  His specialty truly IS touching lives and warming hearts (KPETS motto), and I am eternally thankful for how he touches my life and warms my heart most of all.

I don't do this change-thing easily. Though we have done a few MAJOR moves, hello, I do not seem to become an expert at this starting over thing. hmmm.  My track record is great, I always grow to deeply LOVE each place we live and the people tucked inside our community. But, I suck at the starting over part.  It takes me awhile.   a...w...h...i...l...e....

So thank you Chester -- for helping me through yet another season of change.  For snuggling by my side or at my feet and just being there. For understanding when I have no words and my heart is achy. For getting me out for a walk or a bike-- down the street, or in the hills, or to the beach -- when it was hard for me to get up and go. For being silly and making me laugh. For helping me to meet people when I really didn't want to but I really wanted to.  Thank you for being my therapy dog. You teach me much...beginning with how you handle change. I notice this about you. As long as we're together, your world is safe and secure --- whether we are in Timbuktoo or Kalamazoo. And that is worth pondering on a deeper level for sure. So thank you buddy.

For all you extroverts out there....you may think.  Whaaaaaaaaat the heck? Just get out there and get er done and begin again!  For all the introverts out there...you get it.  Unslumping yourself is not easily done!

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

SO...

.....

you're off to Great Places!

Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting.

So....get on your way!

Thank you Chester.  AND. Thank you Dr. Seuss.

In Loving Memory

I learned last week of the passing of our dear friend, Willard.  As I read the email , tears flowed....

Dory, Chester, and Willard

Dear Willard,

We are so blessed to call you friend and to have known you for the short time we did. Though our time together was short in the world's eyes -- it felt more like dog years :), and we were thankful for every moment. Priceless memories. I remember our first visit to your room. Our friend, Dory,  who worked on your floor, asked if we would visit you. "Willard rarely leaves his room, he doesn't get many visitors, and he really likes dogs," she said.  "Of  course," we said.

We were just going to visit one time.  After all, retirement communities, memory-care floors, were not really MY comfort zone. Walking into your room for the first time is forever etched in my memory....I can still feel my uneasiness, and still see Chester climbing right up into your bed! I was mortified (he was NOT invited), you were thrilled, and Chester was a happy camper as he settled right in. You two knew far more than I did.  And that was that. Our one time visit turned to once a month, twice a month, once-a-week. Thursdays with Willard. 

During our visits  you and Chester snuggled and spooned. I sat quietly in the chair. No words necessary. Just quiet. Full of meaning and love. There were a few jaw-dropping-surprise moments sprinkled in; when your memory returned for a bit, when you showed us the picture of your dog, Katey (from 1952). When we talked about the lightning storm from the night before.  When we went for a stroll in the garden -- your first time outside in many years. You would only go because you could walk Chester and hold his leash.

Mostly, though, ....I remember sitting in the chair by your bedside enjoying you and Chester together. I remember the pictures in your room ~~ the watercolor painting of the little Baptist Church, the  worn Bible on the shelf, the black and white photo of your Pennsylvania farm, the certificate of honor that hung over your bed from World War II. Bronze Star. Algerian Conflict.   While you and Chester had your time, I would watch you two,  and scan the room -- putting the pieces together of 'you', the man we had grown to love.

A few years ago, when our family moved, and  journeyed from Pennsylvania to California, saying g'bye to you was ohsohard. I knew it was our earthly good-bye.  (sigh)   After moving, Chester and I   mailed postcards and pictures to your bedside regularly. The last card arrived in your mailbox just 2 weeks ago, for your 97th birthday.  From sea to shining sea, you were never forgotten, always remembered with love in our hearts.

Our lives are all the richer because of knowing you. Thank you for welcoming us into your heart, and Chester onto your soft and cozy red blanket. 

  

The Hawaiians say it best "A hui hou" dear friend, until we meet again....

We love you,   Chester and Diane

PS  Dear readers....if you are new to Chester Tails, check  past posts for stories and pictures of our dear friend, Willard.